Good morning

I feel strongly that the nicest thing that could happen to you today, is to see me smile. You’re welcome.

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Advice to Slut Shamed Bachelorette

Sleep with all of them
One at a time
Or in pairs
I’ve heard groups can be fun
The one not in action can go make you a sandwich

Or don’t touch one of he has cooties
Or you are not attracted to him

Take care of your body and protect yourself from disease.

It is your body
Do you please

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/bachelorette-producers-accused-slut-shaming-797276?facebook_20150520

Hair removal

I am busy. There are 3 different parties the I am supposed to attend today. My weekend and Monday and possibly Tuesday is packed with fun and adventure…because I deserve fun adventures.

Taking this into account, I planned an extra 10 minutes for my self care this morning. I did not want to be stubble filled or prickly so I used Nair: a hair removal cream.

It smells like "old man armpit". Oh my nose…could it stink any more than it’s acrid stench does? Are there strong enough soaps and lotions to mask the scent? Why am I having a flashback to my early thirties and my Sugar Daddy phase?

Goodness.

Am I really the descendant of Sasquatch? Where did all this hair come from that keeps rolling off of me?

Also, I seem to have burned a hole in the tender translucent skin high on my thigh. What the heck?

I must remember to remind my friends that should I fall into a coma, one of them should occasionally pluck and shave me so we know which side is up!

The Tinder Techniques

1. Eliminate anyone who looks like a Douchebag… you know who you are, "sunglasses on the back of your neck while hugging a tiger guy".

2. If I want to put check you in the face…you have to go.

3. Decapitated arms or body parts of other women? Move on down the road!

4. Do I want to see your ". O face"? Yes? You’re a keeper. No? Go away

Torrid LOVE Affair

I love @TessHoliday and have loved @torrid for years…
But I swear I need a Go Fund Me to buy underwear.
I’m not addicted:I just need a pair every day.

Reading about Tess’s modeling gig (hey, need a short, round , big busted model next? I’m right HERE, already in Southern California! ), inspired my undies purchase.

Now I am poor.