Dear man,

You are the full package: wonderful, smart, handsome and a terrific person.

You are exactly who I would want to spend an evening with. However, I am (circle as applies)

Married A Member of Celibate Clergy
In a committed relationship Gay
Bitter and have sworn off all men (“mancation”) Geographically Undesirable (too far from you)
Of an Inappropriate Age Range Other : _______________________

Do not be sad. This certificate allows us to have that date.

Please have an excursion with Princess 12 Toes (Sonya) and take her on the date I wish I could have with you. I will ask her for details and live vicariously through her. My gift to you is a wonderful adventure with a woman who, while not as amazing as I am, is a close approximation.

Reach her at